Elle wakes up at 7am daily to pray with an elderly lady and she learns to listen to God. I want to listen to and actually hear God. I never spend time just still before him and I so miss that and long for it. Would waking up thirty minutes early actually kill me? Probably, for the first two weeks or so. But is an extra half hour of sleep more important to me than growing with my God? Somedays, I may let myself be deceived and think so, but deep down, I know that with self-discipline, I can do it. I want to. Thanks, to both God and Rachel Hauck, for planting this desire within me again.
The second thing that struck me was Elle's love for painting. She was scared of the critics and didn't have the time. I know that I am "busy" in that I always have something else to do for school. I can always get more ready for the upcoming weeks, I can always grade a couple more papers, I can always email parents. There's always something else. But, I don't want to let my job consume me. I want to do a good job, but always doing more and more is not more important than my sanity. I want to pursue my love for writing like Elle pursues her love for painting. I think though, that with that, comes time to just let my mind relax. I need that. And I think by letting myself not become overworked that I don't have time to read and write is dangerous for me. I know that I can better manage my time and even get my reading and writing time "out of the way" before my husband gets home from work.
So those, I guess I could say, are my New Years' resolutions. My time is limited, but I want to actively choose what is important to me...God, and in many ways, seeing God in fiction while reading and writing.
Whew. It's nice to have all this out! It's time to hop in bed with The Will of Wisteria by Denise Hildreth...an oldie but a goodie. Good night :)
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