My Foolish Heart - Susan May Warren

I've been in desperate need of a good book lately. I am a teacher and 15 hours from now, I will be on summer break. In my excitement for the impending summer, I started dreaming about all of the wonderful books I was going to read. And in that excitement, I couldn't help but get started a bit earlier than I probably should have. I was so lucky to start my summer reading off with Susan May Warren's My Foolish Heart. While this books is part of a series, it does not need to be read in order to understand what is going on. (Turns out I had read one book in the series...didn't even realize it until partway through!)

I love a good story with good guys and bad guys, but I love it even more when you're not really sure who is good and who is bad. I loved that about this book. There is one character in particular who you just want to not like, but you can't help it, and you can't decide if he's "good" or "bad".

In the end though, it is not just a quick, fun read. Yes, it's quick, yes, it's fun, but there's a lot more to My Foolish Heart than is seen from the back cover. There are issues of faith and issues that have great depth. I appreciated going on the journey with Issy, Caleb, Lucy, and Seb and discovering my own areas of crippling fear along with them.

Thank you to Tyndale for the review copy of this book. My opinions are entirely my own.

Lady in Waiting - Susan Meissner

I have had my review copy (thank you, Waterbrook Multnomah!) of Lady in Waiting by Susan Meissner for the last week and a half. Every evening, I look at the book then look at the clock. I typically finish most books that I start before I fall asleep that night, and with teaching the next day most days, it's hard to find time to start a book early enough in the evening. I know that's weird, but it's how I do things because I get so invested in the characters.

Anyway, FINALLY, tonight was the night. And I am so thankful I waited and gave myself a full evening to read, stop, process, read, enjoy, read, etc. this book. What an incredible story Susan Meissner weaves!

Jane and Jane are two women, centuries apart but similar in many ways. I was amazed as Meissner brought each Jane story to a semi-climax then moved on to the other Jane just when I couldn't stop reading! I must admit that I contemplated skipping ahead to find the next section of the Jane I was devouring.

Jane Lindsay, Jane Grey, and Lucy Day are complex women but Meissner writes their stories with beauty and grace. I was impressed with the attention to detail, as well as, simply put, the good storytelling.

I would recommend this book to fans of historical fiction and Christian fiction. While it wasn't too overtly pushed, I felt like I grew and was challenged in my own faith as I read this book. Thank you to Waterbrook Multnomah for the review copy of this great book. I was not asked to write a positive review...it's positive due to Meissner's lovely story.

fear

A few months back during the summer, I received a free book from Thomas Nelson Publishing. It was a book by one of my favorite authors, Lisa Samson, and I was amazed at the power in its pages. I read it quickly, something I typically do with all books, and hadn't thought too much about it until recently. Last week, my husband was at work for two days one with a late shift, the next with an early shift. Since we live quite a distance from his work, it made sense that he should sleep there. During the evening while he was gone, I really enjoyed the alone time. I had dinner with a good friend (leftovers -- so I didn't even have to cook!), and after she left I wrote some more of my thesis, graded some papers, tried to bring myself to read a book that was just so hard to focus on, ate cookies and popcorn, and sang along to some of my favorite music. As it started getting dark, I closed the curtains and holed myself in, trying not to think about the darkness outside. I finally forced myself into bed far later than usual, and laid in fear for quite some time.

While I was laying there awake with my heart pounding and fear filling me, I thought of the book by Lisa Samson, Resurrection in May. I was scared, while alone in my home in Pleasantville, USA with locked doors (and even a garbage can hidden behind the door so I'd know if someone was breaking in) and windows. I said "Jesus" aloud to remind myself of the power of his name, then began to thank him. The fear I have is ridiculous. The likelihood of something "bad" happening to me was tiny.

All over the world, people live in honest fear. They are fearful of militias waiting outside their door in Darfur, of imprisonment if their government disagrees with something they say in China. They fear attacks on their lives in Mogadishu, attacks by people who are terrorizing a city to regain political control.

Our world is a place of fear, but it doesn't have to be. I know I can say this and it might not mean much because of the situation I am in: the city I live in, in the country I call home. But I believe that the paralyzing fear that I often feel can be and will be overcome by God, my God, the one who faithfully carries me (us/all) through all things.

a beautiful day

i woke up with pink slips on my mind (no surprise, it's nearly march 1. within 15 days, i will get mine and no doubt, experience an awkward moment with my principal, poor guy...what a job to have to do!). we went to church and it was all about overcoming financial fears and trusting God to take care of our needs. what truth to hear this morning in the midst of fears!

i hate to be so scared of next year. part of me just longs so much to be carefree and to just let go of these fears. i want to, like eric, be able to just let go and trust god. it's so hard for me. it's beautiful to think back and remember all of the times he has been trustworthy and faithful. i remember cari, the youth pastor when i was in high school, would always take about god's faithfulness. to me, it seemed so foreign because it seemed like he had always been there and wasn't going to leave. i am envious of my younger self's childlike faith and trust. i don't know what changed...nothing specific that i remember, but now i understand, recognize, and revel in the beauty of god's faithfulness.

anyway, eric had to help teach an emt class this afternoon. as soon as he walked out the door, i grabbed a book i have been re-reading (Fire by Night by Lynn Austin) and enjoyed it. as soon as i finished it, i felt like i needed some blonde brownies so i ate some and started dwelling on my impending pink slip and unemployment. ugh. BUT there is nothing a bath with a book cannot cure, so i grabbed a book and dove in. three books later, i am fully relaxed and at peace. it's beautiful to be able to pause and slow down and just trust that God will take care of us. it's so needed, especially this month.

the sun shone today and i watched the cherry blossoms fall softly to the ground right outside our house. god spoke to me through three different books that were written as allegories to express god's love. (thanks, denise hunter.) truth revealed itself clearly, as it always does. a beautiful day.

"the list"

I've just gone through my bookshelves and compiled my "I've Read in 2010" list. I smiled as I wrote certain titles down, remembering their influence/impact on my thoughts. As sad as this is for an English teacher, I'm not much of a discriminating reader. I can edit and comment on students' papers like it's nobody's business and I always find and fix typos in books, but once I get into a story, I am sucked into the world of the characters. It doesn't really matter to me if it's poorly written or not, I just love a good story. I see the value and the beauty in good literature, but for the most part, cheesy Christian fiction gets me every time.

I don't watch TV. It's partially because we don't have cable, but I think it's mostly because I find my relaxation in fiction. Don't get me wrong, we love hulu and the one show we watch (Glee...April 13th can't come soon enough), but while Eric enjoys watching movies, I enjoy sitting next to him on our comfy free craigslist couch and reading a book.

Teaching can be overwhelming. There are always stressors; it's usually kids but often the politics and drama too. However, the last three weeks have been (and the next six months will be) really stressful at work. The last two years I've mostly let the budget crisis and pink slipping process roll off my back, but for some reason the last week all of the drama and fighting and stress really just got to me. I worried about whether or not I would have a job next year and I let my fears, worries, and doubts rule over me.

Because of this, I read ten books during the last week and a half. Most of them were enjoyed in the bathtub. Instead of numbing my mind with trash TV, I devoured fictional characters and their worries and fears. I guess it's times like these when I think I'm brainless for reading cheesy Christian fiction, I realize one important truth. The cheesy Christian fiction is not just fluff, it is instrumental in my life and my faith journey.

I read this evening about Caroline Fletcher, a woman caught between her love for a man, her fears, and her knowledge of the God's truth for her. The Civil War is raging right outside their door, but Eli reminds her to lean on Jesus and not fear.

As I sit in my safe, comfortable, and warm home fretting about not having a job next year, I am letting my fears win. Hearing the truth from Caroline and Eli reminds me to give up my burden and trust in the truth. It doesn't mean I'll have a job next year, but it does mean that God is replacing the fears, lies, and worries with truth. It doesn't mean the book was Pulitzer Prize material, but it does mean that God does, has, and will continue to speak to me through fiction that reveals his heart.

WHOA - The Long Way Home by Andrew Klavan

I'm not going to lie...I'm not much of a mystery/suspense fan.  I get nervous when I'm home alone, I jump at every bump or creak the house makes, loud cars that go by at night startle me.  So, with all of that in mind, I was a little nervous when I picked up Andrew Klavan's latest young adult novel, The Long Way Home.

Charlie West does not remember the last year of his life.  His best friend is dead and he has been convicted.  He is running, though from the good guys or the bad guys, he is not sure.  All he knows is that his life is on the line and he needs to keep moving.

Boy, was I blown away.  I had decided I wasn't going to read it until the weekend because my husband would be home then and I wouldn't be as scared, but when my friend who is coming to visit for the weekend said he would be here this evening, I decided it would be a great way to start my relaxation as the semester is coming to an end (giving and grading a scantron freshman final tomorrow then I'm done! :)  Woo hoo!).  I got in the bath with the book to read for half an hour, an hour max.

Two and a half hours later, I emerged, pruny as could be, and I sat on my bed in awe.  During my two and a half hour bath, I entered a world of intrigue, lies, truths, chaos, love, fear, friends,  hope, but most of all, teenage boy.  Charlie is real and the life he is living jumps off the pages.  His faith is real, his doubts are real.  His passion for truth is inspiring.  And, boy, can he fight!

What a tangled, beautiful web Klavan weaves.  His storytelling is seamless and seems to go by frustratingly quickly.  I wanted the book to never end, but end it did with my interest piqued for the third book in the Homelanders' series.  My only complaint is that the next book doesn't come out until November 2010.  So far away!